It is never easy to search for the eye in the storm when you are sitting dead smack in the middle of it. Emotions may, can and will overwhelm the human psyche at any given moment. If someone says to you, in the midst of turmoil, “Just look at the bigger picture,” that notion may not even be possible. Just because the bigger picture is there doesn’t mean you can see it all the time.
But the bigger picture is always there and if you focus on it, it is a tool in your arsenal that can keep your sanity in your grasp.
It is April 2020 and the world is descending into madness. Outside is closed, masks are a normality, ‘social distancing’ is a newly coined yet extremely common term. Covid 19 has taken over the main course of everyday conversation. Covid 19 is a viral monster, ripping through neighborhoods and menacing citizens of the earth. I came face to face with this monster, personally. The bigger picture, ever present, was my saving grace.
I will spare you the gory details but I will say this: Covid 19 is nothing like the flu, at least it wasn’t for me. It was a mixture of a cold, the flu, pneumonia and bronchitis all mixed together and it seemed as if each symptom took turns whooping my ass for two weeks straight.
It was the single most frightening thing I have ever experienced. The fact that my lungs couldn’t deflate and inflate properly and every breath was hard to grasp and painful at least was a disturbing presence for over a week. I didn’t know which breath would be my last and I was in so much pain I ping ponged between mentally fighting and sinking into defeat and depression.
The bigger picture, during the most trying time of the ordeal, was I was still breathing. That’s it. Nothing more. That was all I could hold on to. But for this mother of eight kids - spiritual, biological and other – that was enough. I fought my way back to a cautious version of healthy. 18 days later, a nagging cough is my only reminder of my battle with covid.
The moral of the story is: hold on to the bigger picture during trying times. Yes, I wanted to and did question the spiritual realm as to why this happened to my three girls, my partner and myself. I longed for the days of unlabored breaths and muscles without pain. But, everytime I saw a post on facebook detailing someone’s lost life to a mysterious illness the bigger picture came roaring through reminding me to be grateful for life, and love.
I never thought I would miss something as simple as a hug. The bigger picture is: if you are still here, still breathing, then you aren’t done. You still have opportunity. Don’t wait until you are faced with the possible end of your earthly existence to seize your opportunities to grow, change, love and do better. Life is fragile and it is short, shorter for some more than others. When you are in the storm, search for the bigger picture and let it anchor you so you won’t blow away. Be grateful, because no matter how bad it may seem, it can always be worse.
Be safe out there,