I saw a post today that asked, ‘how many times a day should you check in with your significant other?’
The answers were astounding, partially, because there was so many women equating attention with loyalty.
I saw, “Oh, my man needs to call me when he gets to work, on his break, when he’s gets home and before he goes to sleep.”
This was the general consensus of the crowd. This comes from a place of insecurity. The subliminal belief is ‘out of site, out of mind’ so they are making sure their essence is somewhere in the vicinity of their man’s thoughts. They are trying to make sure their man’s wandering mind doesn’t turn into a wandering eye, and then a wandering penis.
Attention does not equal love. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice for a significant other to call because he misses you, but it should be out of admiration, not obligation.
What if there are exceptional circumstances surrounding an unusual absence? What if he is busy? What if he is having a bad day and doesn’t feel like talking? He doesn’t get space? His mental well-being isn’t more important than your need for ego validation? How sad is it to be in a relationship where one of the parties doesn’t have the freedom to be an individual.
Don’t be so needy for validation that you would push the one you love away. Learn how to be your own best friend. Lift yourself up. When you depend on someone else to make you feel good, you will feel bad when the soothing is unavailable. Validate your damn self.
Peace and Love,
Aisha the Goddess